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I use to update my website following a major catastrophe. At the rate catastrophes are happening, I'd be changing my website daily. I do intend to bring new life to this website soon! Anyway, I believe every disaster has a life of its own. There is really no comparison to the individuals and victims of each occurrence. It makes my heart hurt. I have decided since there doesn't seem to be much good news these days, I am going totally off the wall with some things that really bother me but aren't "heavy duty".
I am a confessed audio books addict. Not recovering. I am a practicing addict. Investigators advise against listening to audio books or any distraction while on the job; but, as much as I am on the road, audio books have been my earthly salvation. I believe I pay more attention to them than if I were actually reading them in print.
Here's my problem...well, several for that matter. Briefly, in every book I read, whenever there is an incident like a murder, fight, burglary, etc., there is one activity that occurs without fail. Someone always offers the "victim" or the recipient of the bad news, a glass of water. Always. For example: "I'm sorry to tell you that your pet frog has died. May I get you a glass of water?" A drink of water apparently has the ability to calm and tranquilize. I have obviously failed to experience this marvelous remedy in times of need. Pay attention. See how many books you read that a character in the book is not offered a glass of water after hearing bad news or experiencing some type of trauma.
The second mysterious thing to me is that in every single book I read, there is always someone who chews their lip or lips. For instance, "he watched her as she chewed her bottom lip" or "she worked her lip as she pondered the question". I do not know about you but I do not chew my lip. If as many people went around chewing their lips in real life as are portrayed in books, I believe there would be a lot of lipless people walking around. I confess. Since reading this phenomena in every book I read, I have tried "chewing my lip". It simply does not do anything for me and I don't think anyone I know would find it endearing. I believe it is a requirement that in order for a book to be published, one of the characters has to "chew on their lip". Obviously, again, I am missing something that apparently gives others great satisfaction.
Okay, last mystery for now and I must admit the thought is not original. My sister first mentioned it. Why in books do they refer to people laughing as "chortling" or "guffaw, guffaw"? I have never heard anyone laugh saying "chortle, chortle" or "guffaw, guffaw". The sound of laughter does not even resemble these words. Again, there seems to be some issue I have failed to understand when studying the history of the English language or the origin of these words.
Oh, and why do people say, "I see what you are saying?" Or "See what I am saying?" Do some people see words coming out of a person's mouth as they talk? I don't understand.
New question...when did it become proper English to say "they went missing"? I don't get it...was there some kind of approved grammar change I totally missed?
Well, it is quite apparent I need to find a twelve-step group of audio books anonymous; or, I don't have enough to do. So, please help me by allowing me to be of service to you. I am well qualified in what I do. I have a BS Degree in Criminal Justice, an AS Degree in Police Science and years of working experience in various jobs related to the services I offer.
INITIAL CONSULTATIONS are free so please give me a call and allow The Profile Agency to assist you in resolving whatever investigative needs you may have. We look forward to "hearing" from you.
Oh, new confession. I just went out and bought the latest edition of Webster's Dictionary. I found out there is a dictionary of the "new" English language which will be my next purchase and I bought the latest edition of a book on proper writing style. My helpful sister has now told me proper writing requires only one space after a period rather than two and the book states commas are not used the same. I am afraid to write - or speak. Thanks, sis.
Recommended audio book for uplifting reading: Orbit by John Nance. Recommended PI Book: The Complete Idiot's Guide to Private Investigating, 2nd Edition, by Steven Kerry Brown. Enjoy!
Barbara Klein, Investigator ~ AL License No. 089865
THE PROFILE AGENCY
PROFESSIONAL * DISCREET * COMPETENT
4800 Whitesburg Drive #30-225 ~ Huntsville, AL, 35802
(256) 883-7496; FAX: (775) 263-1837
E-mail: theprofileagency@bellsouth.net
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GREAT SITE:
http://InvestigatorsofAmerica.com/
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